About half the time when you read someone's blog about how they came into Adams Morgan for some wild partying and shagging in an alley, they talk as if the Jumbo Slice were some kind of culinary delight akin to Thrasher's Fries in Rehoboth. Like an evening isn't a success if you didn't get your jumbo slice. Even the Washington Post sang the praises of this rancid slab of grease in one of those "You haven't lived here if..." segments. And Washingtonian magazine. And a whole host of bloggers. Even Jason at DC Foodies -- who normally can't stand to have a plate come out 2 degrees short of perfect -- lists the Jumbo Slice in his top 5 pizza places.
Let me tell you, friends, the jumbo slice is no friend of yours.
There used to be only one jumbo slice on 18th and it wasn't the pizza boli joint. The Pizza Mart had the first and at that time thankfully only jumbo slice. It was nice because when the health inspectors came around and shut it down, no drunks left jumbo slices on your front yard or car overnight.
A few people at least understand the repulsiveness of the so called jumbo slice: noting a recent health code closing at Pizza Mart, Rock Creek Rambler properly questions whether the stuff they sell is even pizza. Yes, the February 2005 closing of Pizza Mart was hardly a first, although I have to admit they've closed less frequently than they used to. However, a search of the DC website reveals some older closings: September 2000 for, among other things, "Evidence of rodents inside of premises." Yum yum. I wonder if that's a premium topping. And a month before that, in August 2000, Pizza Mart had been closed yet again for, you guessed it, "evidence of rodents inside of premises." Yet the idiots still line up to eat their rat fur and shit.
But I don't want to pick only on Pizza Mart. Pizza Napolis also received some health department attention. They were closed in September 2003 (the same week by the way as O'Nasty right around the corner on Columbia). Both establishments received $1000 fines for "Evidence of rodents inside of establishment" among other things like "basic inadequate sanitation." And of course, the aforementioned Pizza Bolis couldn't keep their mugs out of the Health Inspector's blotter: they were closed down in May 2004 for "improper temperatures of potentially hazardous foods" among other things.
Folks, lay off the jumbo slices, please. Maybe they'll go away then.
2 comments:
Okay then. Youuuu come up with better drunk food, and I'll stop liking trace amounts of rat droppings in my pizza!!
Besides, have you ever had a hot dog??? Or Jello? Goodness knows what's in these tasty treats.
I have had a hot dog and jello, although I avoid those these days. However, I see your point. If I cover a piece of bread with dog shit and offer it to drunks, they'll eat it.
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