Pat Robertson: Wig-Flipper Extraordinaire.

Well, the good reverend is at it again. Calling for the assassination of foreign heads of state was only the beginning for wacky Pat Robertson. Now he warns that God's wrath will fall upon the sane people of Dover, Pennsylvania, who voted the inquisition off the school board. Here's Robertson's pronouncement:

"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city," Robertson said on his daily television show broadcast from Virginia, "The 700 Club."
"And don't wonder why He hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of
your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for His help because he might not be there," he said.

Now that's some funny shit. Actually, the voters voted anti-science zealots off the school board, not God, but Robertson is not really one to do proper research. Personally, I'm an atheist, but I do know my Bible, and it seems to me that Robertson's God is the Old Testament God and not the New Testament God.

Why is it that all religious whack jobs turn to the Old Testament when it's time to smite their enemies on earth? Maybe it's because you don't find a whole lot of "I will kill you!" coming out of Jesus's mouth. Samson killing hordes with the jawbone of an ass? The first born sons of the Egyptians being offed in one night? David knocking dead Goliath? All Old Testament. And all those damn diet rules that Christians don't really seem to mind at all -- ever see a Southern Baptist turn down a pulled pork sandwich? I didn't think so. But they'll quote chapter and verse the restrictions on homosexuality.

Now what do you have in the New Testament? Aside from Revelations -- a book that proves that LSD has been around a hell of a lot longer than we think -- you have stories of Jesus turning water into wine so people can keep getting drunk; Jesus raising people from the dead, not killing them; Jesus telling the people to render unto Caesar what is Caesar's (that is, keep clear the difference between state power and religious power -- either that or something to do with establishing gaudy gambling casinos), etc.

So, Dover, be ready in case anything might happen. Anything. Maybe. Because that's how God's work is best understood by these freaks: anything that happens could be a sign taken for wonders. If a new school board member stubs his or her toe getting out of the shower, that's God working right there.