The worst thing imaginable... (by G.W. Bush)

Forget high fuel costs.
Forget stagnant wages.
Forget international terrorism.
Forget Iraq.
Forget my poll numbers.

Have you forgotten those yet? Heck, you will, because I have a humdinger of a threat sitting right here on our front porch, or, heh, heh, hanging out around the backdoor, if you know what I mean...heh.

Yeah, family instability is an important cause of unstable families, and I want to make sure fewer families can be created. Or what I mean is all you single mothers and fathers and especially you grandparents raising kids are nothing but homosexuals promoting your agenda, because we all know you can't get kids if you aren't marriagified.

And I don't govern by polls, so forget that.

As I said, "Ages of experience have taught us that the commitment of a husband and wife to love and to serve one another promotes the welfare of children and the stability of society," just as ages of experience have taught us that it is abomination to interracialfy your blood. The Bible itself says that. Sure it does. Sons of Ham and all that -- it means Blacks were meant by God himself to be slaves forever and ever. Amen.

Not that I'm saying all you colored folk are in danger...no we've moved on as a society so no racism ever exists ever, especially not in the Republican Party. Unless maybe you're a homosexual Black man. Then we still hate you. But it's for your own good. Because there's a saying where I come from, "sometimes you love something and set it free, and then sometimes you eat dinner." I'm not really sure where that comes from, but it means that you have to be tough sometimes. You have to talk straight, even if people don't like it and your poll numbers go down. But forget poll numbers. They have nothing to do with this Gay Marriage thing.

Gawd, it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it. Gay. Marriage. If we don't ban this attack on family stability, well, we let the terra-ists win. That guy, Obama or Osama, sitting in his cave somewhere is laughing at us for allowing Adam and Steve to sashay on down the aisle. Well, not on my watch. I say, bring it on, all you terrorist loving homosexual marrying types.

Good night and God bless.
G.W. Bush