I knew there was an easier way...

As some of you may know, I recently defended my dissertation after many arduous years of either feverish work or inexcusable neglect. Mostly neglect, but we'll leave that aside for now. Well, imagine my surprise when I find out through the power of teh internets that I could have saved myself quite a bit of time and money if I'd only looked around a little more closely at what was being offered out there. In my email this morning I received the following offer: "Fw: Re: Obtain degrees from Prestigious non-accredited Univesrities" -- and I was as surprised as you might be to find out that you can indeed put "prestigious" and "non-accredited" together like that. But it's true!

The email was short and to the point, so I'll quote it in full:

In just as little as 2 *weeks* you can have a masters degree from a national university. A better job, more income and a better life cna all be yours in less than 2 weeks. No books to buy, no classes to go to, and no entrance exams. Learn in your own home at your own pace. We uspply all the study materials, all you have to do is apply! Everyone is accepted!

I attribute the spelling errors to the excitement that bringing this sort of news to the general public must cause. Imagine how stupid I feel spending several years attaining my degree, when I could have had one from prestigious non-accredited univesrities in less than two weeks, and I wouldn't have to pay for any books. Cha-ching, my friends, cha-ching.

And talk about relieving the pressure of applying: everyone is accepted! This sort of customer service is going to put those old-fangled universities out of business! I know we're already about two weeks gone in the new year, but with this offer I'm sure I can still attain at least 24 more master's degrees before 2008!

As the kids say, "Wo0t!"