To my millions of readers, I say thank you. Thank you for making it all worthwhile. I've hit 500 posts in just under two years (twenty days under two years, thank you very much) and what's more I've reached this milestone on my birthday. So obviously the stars are aligned etcetera etcetera.
Blogging has changed my life in so many ways, whether it's the all-night cocaine-fueled orgies thrown at a blogger's posh Georgetown rowhouse or the more mundane "picking up an 8-ball and a hooker because it'd make a good blog entry," I truly have to thank the blogger for making it possible.
I promise that the next 500 posts will take this medium to the next level, with naked photos of myself and various lawmakers and priests, my favorite recipes, and of course regular guest blog entries written by Jesus Christ, Mohammed, and Odin (Mohammed is a little worried about his entries because, as he says, "my followers take everything so damn seriously," but Jesus told him you can't "let the haterz get to you: people have been killing other people in my name for several centuries, too, but you gotta remember you write for you, not for them.").