30 May 2007

It's too late to be up.

Last night I was up really late, or at least really late for my post-30 life, trying to take care of things like bills and laundry and the like, and the television was on, first to David Letterman, then to Craig Ferguson, and then to this trashy show called "The Insider." This show is basically a video tabloid, nothing more than gossip, and amazingly devoid of any actual information.

In fact, it seems the show mainly consists of chopped up segments of other interviews, patched together by horrific canned patter by Pat O'Brien and the woman who used to be on Antique Roadshow. How sad for both of these "presenters." Pat O'Brien used to be part of the CBS sports department, a one-time fixture of the NCAA tournament. It's any wonder he went into rehab. Can you imagine sitting around after taping one of those shows and reflecting on your career?

Luckily I also found out about CBS's latest addition to the retarded reality show genre: "Pirate Master." What the hell is that all about? Some idiot was talking to the camera about how he would "cut someone's throat." Let me explain something to you, you winner of a casting call: if it were a real pirate ship, you'd be dead before the ship hit open sea. They don't shoot heavily edited "reality" shows on real pirate ships. To make it more of a reality show, they should have the constant threat of the British Navy capturing them and hanging every single one of them, allowing their bodies to rot in the sun as a lesson to other pirates.

Ugh. I suppose I should really go to sleep.


Reya Mellicker said...

This is the very reason I only watch Law & Order reruns.

The "pirates" should also suffer from diseases of malnutrition like rickets or scurvy (or both) and allow their teeth to rot. Everyone should contract cholera at least once.

Momentary Academic said...

I can't sleep either, but I'm watching the Junk Brothers. They take stuff that you throw away and make it into something cool.

I should go to bed as well.