14 August 2007

Rats.

Seriously, how the fck does this happen?

Now on to other things...


I can't get rats off my mind. First, it's my bad dreams. Then it's reality, with Rove resigning and then shitbags like Novak and of all people Grover Norquist, Mr. "Sure I'll Launder Your Money, Mr. Abramoff", waxing pathetic over their King Rat Rove. You just can't get away from the rodents in this city.


On the good side of it all, the Post had an interesting article today about how the French have taken to Disney's Ratatouille, a movie I haven't seen yet, but which my wife and son pronounced excellent. Rodents are always much cleverer, cleaner, and cuter when they're animated.


In real life, on the other hand, when they aren't in high positions on the right wing of our government, they're burrowing holes in backyards and rooting around in trash bins making a general mess of everything.


And you can smell them.


Especially when the ground is wet, there's a distinct smell to dirt that has seen frequent rat activity, which I suppose is where the phrase, "I smell a rat," came from. It's a loathsome smell, and right now I'm smelling it in my backyard. I'm not happy.


I'm also not happy that in the last two traps I've put out I haven't caught rats, but birds. I don't like catching birds, so after those incidents I declared a moratorium on rat trap deployment. My neighbor says you need to use a milk crate to cover the trap and then you'll only get rats. I don't know. I'm thinking the best solution is to rent a bobcat and dig up the entire backyard, pour concrete barriers about four feet deep around the perimeter of the yard, erect fencing with mesh so close not even a rat could slip through, and then sit back and enjoy my bunker.


Seriously, though, the backyard is in bad shape. It's overgrown with weeds (which partially explains the rat situation) and since it's been a drought, I've had to get under the deck frequently to access the water hose, meaning I haven't exactly been fastidious with replacing my anti-rat panels that are normally in place to prevent rats from hiding out under the deck.


And now I'm obsessing. I'm turning into Carl the Groundskeeper.

5 comments:

mysterygirl! said...

See, I think you should rent an actual bobcat, which could then hunt the rats.

(Also, the links about the motorcyclist and Ratatouille were quite fascinating.)

Reya Mellicker said...

I hope this isn't racist, but .. the Japanese are really different than we are. When i was in Tokyo, I was astonished by the bins in the subway stations where they put shoes people lose in the crush to get on the train. They step out of them and just keep going. If that happened in the Metro, wouldn't you stop, get your shoe, and catch the next train? I would.

Rats? I call in the professionals. I do not mess around with rats. good luck!

Momentary Academic said...

Rats are horrible. I hate them. I wish you the best.

cuff said...

MG!: Funny thing is I've actually seen three real bobcats in the past year: two in Yosemite and one just outside Snow Hill, Maryland. If I could keep the bobcat in the backyard, I probably would. Our own 17 yr old cat isn't exactly a ratter.

Reya: I suppose losing a shoe is better than stopping, bending over to retrieve it, and getting trampled to death. Reminds me of the time I fell in a mosh pit at a Social Distortion concert. I felt death was upon me.

MA: My wife and I are formulating plans...something of a Tet Offensive against these advancing rodents.

Lonnie Bruner said...

They eat rats in the Mekong Delta. In several places I saw cages of them in full view of the public. Here's a picture. One of the most disgusting things I've ever seen.