09 October 2005

New Dark Ages Roundup: DC Festival

So DC Festival, an evangelical Christian event, got bucket after bucket of rain dumped on it this weekend. The headliner, Luis Palau, lamented the rainfall:
"I'm not discouraged. I'm perplexed that the Lord would allow this rain to come
and despite all our prayers -- it's still coming," Palau, 70, said in a
midafternoon phone interview from the Mall. "I do not doubt the goodness of God.
When we get to heaven . . . we'll find out why this happened."

Dude, you don't need to wait to get to heaven to find out about the rain. You see, we have these things called televisions that occasionally broadcast something called "the news." And part of this program called "the news" is a segment they call "the weather." Bob Ryan is my favorite, mainly for his abnormally large head, but you can take your pick. They aren't always right, but they're pretty good at predicting utter fucking deluges.

More evidence we are entering the new Dark Ages.

5 comments:

Rags said...

By the way did you see the corporate sponsor list? Pepsi is one. I wonder why Pepsi would sponsor an evangelical event

Patrick J. Fitzgerald said...

It was a glorious sight to see on Saturday. I popped into the Wild Safari 3-D movie at the NHM and praise the lawd it was raining cats and dogs on all those heathens.

Kristiana said...

I would like one of those dorks to say
"God! damnyou! You have let me down one to many times. Ants in my sugarbowl and broken shoelaces this morning, and now this. Screw you, I'm going to the bar... gonna celebrating my newfound athiesm with hookers and blow"

cs said...

I'm thinking that's an actual quote from Tom DeLay last week.

A Unique Alias said...

"I'm perplexed that the Lord would allow weather patterns to continue as normal. Honestly - - God? This has been on the calendar for SIX MONTHS. I honestly would appreciate some consideration in your scheduling of weather in the future. Oh, and that Katrina thing - - thanks for arranging that to occur down south."